Hobbitville

Somewhere there is a town full of hobbits called Hobbitville, this used to be a quiet town where the residents always stayed indoors (hobbits hate sunlight) playing dungeons & dragons around the clock. But then one of these hobbits ventured out into the real world and somehow found himself running a major league baseball team. A book was written about his exploits and hobbits of all shapes and sizes came out of the woodwork. Bill James (Papa Warp), the mayor of Hobbitville, made a decree that new stats must be created and the old stats shall be thrown away. The hobbits worship Papa Warp with a cult-like reverence and every word he utters is treated as scripture. They view traditionalists as the enemy and they are ruining baseball. They must be stopped.